I’m pretty convinced I’m dating a serial killer

Here’s the thing. I just recently started dating this guy who I really like. But his communication style is not what I’m accustomed to. He doesn’t email – ever. We text briefly. But the bulk of our communication is in person. Huh? What? The Hell you say!

To be honest, it’s very refreshing. I’ve had whole relationships that exist mostly via text. So I appreciate his desire to communicate in person. But because of this, it’s progressed slowly (bah. Like this is a terrible thing!) and there are many things I don’t yet know about him.

So instead of being a sane woman who asks questions and lets him divulge information at his own pace, I turn in to crazy über librarian on a reconnaissance mission.

I blame the advent of Google. I’m not going to lie, I Google potential dates. Who wouldn’t these days? I don’t do it to gather information to use as fodder for the date. I do it for safety reasons. As this is someone I met online and not through a friend who vetted him for me, I think Googling is a perfectly acceptable way to determine if this is an ok guy.

Only my plan backfired. The guy I’m dating has a pretty generic name. My Googlefu failed me. He’s nowhere on the internet. It’s like he doesn’t exist.

Oh, there are plenty of people out there with his name. Several in the area, no less. And when I discovered one of them was on the sex offender registry, you cannot imagine my relief when I saw the picture and realized it was not my guy. Phew, one crisis averted!

But now that I had a “worst case scenarios” scare, I’m convinced this guy is a serial killer. Let’s add in watching copious amounts of Wicked Attraction on Netflix, and my overactive imagination has kicked in to overdrive.

There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother this season that deals with Googling a potential mate. Ted decides that he’s going to go for the mystery of learning about someone versus knowing her entire history before going on a single date. Of course, his turns out much more positively than what my crazy brain has conjured. His date turns out to be absolutely perfect in every way and Ted is immediately intimidated with the knowledge he has.

Me? I go to the absolute most insane option there is: he’s clearly a serial killer.

So let’s hope mine turns out to be more like a TV sitcom and less like crime documentaries.


and J, if you’re reading this, I’m really not this crazy (yes I am)


About indie librarian

a recently MLS librarian's observations
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4 Responses to I’m pretty convinced I’m dating a serial killer

  1. He’s not a serial killer, silly. He’s a CIA spook.

  2. I don’t like the advent of the Dexter series… Booo! It makes women paranoid, hence this humorous post. Jeff Foxworthy once told me at a cocktail party, “If you’re boyfriend scribbles out the eyes of beautiful women in your cosmo magazines….you might be dating a serial killer. If he refers to the numbers ahead of you at the DMV as “cattle” …..you might be dating a serial killer. If thinks duct tape is a staple good …you might be dating a serial killer.” But really, how many serial killers are out there in the world, in a given ten-year period? How much time did you devote today to worrying about lightning. That’s nature’s serial killer.

    • How about on our first date we went to an antique store where we discovered an olde timey physician’s table (complete with stirrups) and he really wanted to purchase it and put it in his basement to impress the ladies.

      serial killer? or just wicked sense of humor?

      truthfully, Dexter doesn’t creep me out. Watching real life crime shows do. and there’s a surprising number of crazy people out there. And not the good crazy. Like me.

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