I’m a recently single lady who has been dipping her toe back in to the dating scene. And I’ll admit, as a librarian, I’m a bit hesitant to tell people what I do for a living. I’m not ashamed of what I do by any means. However, there is this stereotype that seems to persist among men. Librarians = sexy librarians = sexually adventurous women.
While I will not get in to the specifics of my sex life, I find it difficult to date someone who sees my profession as a definition of how I am in general. Sure I have the standard issue librarian (hipster) glasses, a knitting obsession and perhaps an affinity for sensible shoes. But besides that, I fit very few library stereotypes.
I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life striving to have a “thing”. I have a friend who is an MMA fighter. Another who is the roller derby girl. And another who is a competitive eater. Ok, so that last one is a friend of a friend but the point remains: I know some pretty outrageous people. And I’ve kind of wanted to be known for my own “thing”.
Turns out my schtick is being a librarian.
And with it comes a multitude of accurate and inaccurate assumptions.
When I put together my online dating profile, I seriously considered not indicating my current profession. Even putting down “former graphic designer” seemed more appealing than librarian. I didn’t exactly want to be contacted by several guys who only wanted to talk to me because I was a sexy librarian. I have a lot more going for me than that, boys.
I won’t deny I’ve played up the assumptions occasionally (I’ve used the librarians are hiding something line more than I should) However, I find that when that’s all a guy wants to discuss I immediately am turned off.
On one hand, it’s incredibly flattering. I like to believe that the librarian fantasy is based on an attraction to intelligence (and assumed side effect of having your MLS). On the other, I think a guy immediately assumes he knows what I’m going to be like to date or sleep with. And I hate the idea of being pigeonholed.
So for now, I am up front about it, but I definitely have my creep radar on high trying to feel out who is out there to get to know me and who is interested in just meeting my alter ego.